Over the past few weeks I have had the amazing opportunity to photograph my sister during her pregnancy. I was explaining to her today that I enjoy it so much because she allows me to be creative and portray the vision I have in my head. I bring her up because while she may be getting ready to give birth to her 2nd child, this is in fact her 5th pregnancy.
Miscarriage. It's shitty.
There I said it.
I am sorry if I have offended you but that's the best word I can use to describe it. I have learned so much from her and watching her go through the loss has shown me the true meaning of strength and courage. I wanted to protect her and be strong but instead, I cried with her. It wasn't fair.
The thing that killed me the entire time was the complete lack of caring or understanding showed to her by others. Along with the fact that no one seemed to want to talk about that fact that she was suffering a great loss. It was like she just needed to move on. People said they were sorry and then asked her what her plans for the weekend were.
See what I don't think others think about is the deep pain that lingers with a loss. How you will never be the same again. How with every pregnancy there is always a thought that when you go to the bathroom, will there be blood? Will it happen again? Should you be doing something different? Is there something wrong with you?
I think one of the hardest factors in all of this, is miscarriages are quite common but no one really talks about it. Here's the deal, it's okay to ask how they are doing more than once.
This is to all those who have suffered or are suffering. I see you, I see your pain. I'm here to talk if you want to.